Apps & Games
Android apps and games, plus indie titles on PS5. Real play time, real bug notes — crashes, confusing menus, and the stuff a five-minute demo never catches.
01
What we test
Six lanes, all of them things we actually use. If your product doesn't fit a lane, pitch it anyway — email us and we'll read it.
Software & AI Tools
Windows PC software: music and video editing, AI programs, creator tools. Tested inside actual projects, not a feature checklist.
Phones & Hardware
Small-brand and alternative phones, eSIM and travel connectivity, everyday electronics. Battery, durability, and daily-driver honesty from a non-flagship budget.
Maker & 3D Printing
3D printers, filament, and workshop gear. We print with it, break it in, and report what a new owner will actually run into. Loan-and-return welcome.
Gear, EDC & Outdoor
Knives, tools, truck and car accessories, camping and hiking gear — used hard in Maine weather, by a family that actually goes outside.
Travel Products
Packs, organizers, cameras, and carry gear. If it can survive ten days moving through Tokyo, it earns the verdict — see the field test below.
Platforms on the bench: Android, Windows PC, and PlayStation 5.
02
How it works
-
Step 1
Pitch us
Email us what the product is, which deal you have in mind, and what you want to learn. Anything with terms, an NDA, or money gets agreed together before anything ships.
-
Step 2
We put it to work
Not a lab bench and a spec sheet — real days, real weather, real projects, real games. We take notes the whole way, including the annoying parts.
-
Step 3
You get the report
A written report and, where it fits, video on The Fat Tactician channel. Good, bad, or mixed — published as found. You see it when everyone else does.
The honesty rules
- No verdict is ever bought, traded, or promised in advance.
- Free and loaned products are disclosed as such in every report.
- If it's junk, the report says it's junk — and says exactly why, so you can fix it.
- Small company? Good. We'd rather help a startup grow than be one more logo farm for a giant brand.
Field test — Tokyo, Jan 19–29, 2027
Ten days in Japan is a stress test no lab can fake
We're traveling to Tokyo in January 2027, and gear that comes with us gets worked the whole trip — trains, rain, long walking days, small hotel desks. Travel products, phones, eSIMs, cameras, and carry gear tested in the field, reported when we get home.
Want your product on the trip? Email us below and mention the Travel lane.
03
Test reports
Every test ends in a report here — the good, the bad, and the returned-to-sender. Reports publish as products finish testing.
No reports published yet
Products are being tested and the first reports will publish here as they wrap up. Nothing gets posted until it's been genuinely used — that's the whole point of this page.
04
Who's doing the testing
I'm Tyler — The Fat Tactician. Retired U.S. Army combat veteran with multiple deployments, now a family man in Maine: married, a nine-year-old daughter, and a boxer puppy who supervises everything.
Testing around here is a family operation. My daughter Delanie runs kid-proofing as our Chief Scientist — if a product survives her, it'll survive your customers. I'm also starting UX/UI studies in March 2027, so apps and software get reviewed by someone learning to build the stuff, not just use it.
The channel started with one rule: say what you actually think. That's the whole business model here, too.
- Based in
- Maine
- Background
- Retired combat veteran
- Test team
- Tyler, Delanie — Chief Scientist (age 9), and the family boxer puppy
- Platforms
- Android · Windows PC · PS5
- Also studying
- UX/UI design, from March 2027
05
Request a test
Tell us what you've built and how you'd like to work. We read every inquiry ourselves and reply by email — no phone tag, no pressure, and if it's not a fit we'll say so straight.
Email is the way in. Send your pitch — what the product is, which of the three deals you have in mind, and what you want to learn — to inquiries@thefattactician.com.